Ok, this blog is not for wimps! It borders on ... Is this ok to write about??? But, I decided if the bishop's wife can write about cleavage, I can write about boobs, so, here goes...
Last night I was watching Jay Leno ... He does this bit called Jaywalking when he walks up to unsuspecting strangers and asks them questions ... well, he stopped this 22 year old kid and asked him what year he thought his mother was born ... (the kids mom, not Jays!) well, the kid said 1921!! That would make her 88! Jay, promptly brought the young man's mom on camera, well, I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH HER! WE WERE BORN THE SAME YEAR! AND I GUARANTEE YOU IT WASN'T 1921!!! Well, kids, I laughed so hard I almost peed! But it just got my mind to rolling ...
This particular friend and a bunch of other girls in Jr High formed what we 12 year olds deemed the boob builders club ... you know, we all had a dream ... no one wanted to be Dolly Parton, but more than anything we all wanted something, but what we all had ... was nothing, anything, even just a little bit of anything, was the goal! We had a chant ... ; " We must, we must, we must improve our bust, for we fear, we fear, we'll be this way all year!!" Our slogan was B-R-A supports Clayton ... which was the name of the school we attended ... It was wonderful! One of thoes girl bonding clubs that gives you a tie (or hooks and eye's) that will last forever! I have laughed about thoes boob building days many times with one or more of all thoes old friends ... especially when I observe the chest I was blessed with! Let's just say, I'm not Dolly, but my gals are big enough to be seen! I have, to put it nicely, "plumped up" a bit since high school. So, I am not sure how much of my gals are actually boobies and how much are blubber ... but OH well, I have never had a child ...or nursed one, so, comparitivly speaking, it seems rather unfair that I ended up with the biggest set of twins since Clayton! First, the girl with the son from TV ... she turned out OK ... after all, she was second runner up to Miss USA in 1980 something, so she obviously is worth looking at! Then there was the friend who's had five kids and still looks as though she has the same build that she had when we were 12! Ok, all of us were born in the 60's ... I refuse to say when ... I also refuse to say that I am over 40! I prefer to say, I'm 39.95 plus shipping and handling ... OK ... BUT I AM NOT 88! My girls are sagging, though, not 88 years worth of sag ... but I guess if you get the most, you sag the most ... what can I say!
Anyway, this all came to my memory because I saw an old friend on TV with a son who really made me laugh until I almost peed ... (watch out! age is also the author of week bladders)! So, Sue, if you're reading this ... tell Andrew we were born in the 60's... it's not necessary to say when, as long as he gets the right decade, he'll be good to go!
I'm going for now ... I have a coupon for 50% off a new bra!
3 comments:
Jana, You are hilarious!
Do Your Boobs Hang Low?
Do They Wobble to and Fro?
Can You Tie Them in a Knot?
Can You Tie Them in a Bow?
Can You Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier?
Do Your Boobs Hang Low?
Do Your Boobs Hang High?
Do They Reach Up to the Sky?
Do The Droop When They're Wet?
Do They Stiffen When They're Dry?
Can You Semaphore Your Neighbor with a Mimimum of Labor?
Do Your Boobs Hang High?
Do Your Boobs Hang Wide?
Do They Flap From Side to Side?
Do They Wave in the Breeze?
From the Slightest Little Sneeze?
Can You Soar Above the Nation with a Feeling of Elation?
Do Your Boobs Hang Wide?
Do Your Boobs Fall Off?
When You Give a Great Big Cough?
Do They Lie There on the Ground?
Or Bounce Up at Every Sound?
Can You Stick Them in Your Pocket Just Like Little Davy Crockett?
Do Your Boobs Fall Off?
Jana,
What to say! It's a good thing we can have a sense of humor about our bodies as they age.
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