Embrace the vacuum!

My Stake President taught us about pressure treated wood last night at conference. Why? I hear you wonder? Well ... he is a great teacher and he likes to make those to whom he teaches ... think. I have pondered his words to a great extent and have learned things that I want to share!

First, for those of you readers that were as clueless as I when he began his talk, I have a definition here of what pressure treated wood is:

Pressure treating is a process that forces a chemical preservative deep into the wood. The wood product is placed into a humongous cylindrical holding tank, and the tank is depressurized to remove all air. The tank is then filled with the preservative under high pressure, forcing it deeply into the wood. The tank is then drained and the remaining preservative reused. The wood is removed from the tank and prepared for shipment to your local lumberyard. Empty cell pressure treated wood has a relatively low retention of preservative while full cell treated wood has the retention of the maximum quantity of preservative. Needless to say, this process makes the wood quite unappetizing to all vermin, insects, and fungus, which accounts for its 20-40 year plus lifespan under the harshest conditions!

After explaining the process of pressure treatment, he likened it unto conversion. Where was my conversion? Is my cell an empty cell or is it full? Wood rots without this pressure treatment. I would guess that's no conversion.

I have pondered the strength of my own conversion ... especially as I have felt this world getting darker around me ... you know, a lamp that has a three way light? Well over the last few months, I have literally felt the light get switched down one more notch. It's freaky! I feel we are in our own Zarahemla, and the gadianton robbers are hiding in the shadows of my own front door! It's scary! I have pondered the strength of my conversion when a friends son was faced with that test ... I blogged about that late last year.

I don't want to have an empty cell ... As hard as the pressure can be in life sometimes ... as loud as the voices of temptation can get, I will embrace the vacuum ... that fills the cell of my conversion. It is my full cell that makes me strong enough to stand when the winds of adversity whip around me ... taunting me to bend. Satan knows right where to get me ... he whispers despair ...he tries to suck away my hope. He plays upon my fears.

I find strength in scripture study and listening to the leaders of the church. Those who lead and direct us strengthen me. I find if I nourish my faith daily ... my hope does not diminish. If I do not take heed to the voices in the media that scream about the destruction of the the values I hold dear ...I can stand strong. There are things I use to watch on TV ...entertainment programs ...I have learned that I can't watch ... those who taunt my beliefs and call me unAmerican just anger me. Tolerance does not mean submission! Like I said before, I will embrace the vacuum that fills the cell of my conversion ... it is through that I will remain strong and steadfast!

D&C 20:37 states: "All those who humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end, and truly manifest by their works that they have received of the Spirit of Christ unto the remission of their sins, shall be received by baptism into his church."

I understand that the sacrifice I need to make to my Father in Heaven is to come unto Him with a broken Heart and a contrite spirit. Contrite is our need for atonement ... the broken heart is humility. It is with a humble heart that true conversion can begin ... My cell cannot be filled if first there is pride. Pride gets in the way ... it's a fungus that grows from the inside ...(remember, fungus rots wood). But, joyfully it because of the atonement, I can renew myself moment by moment if necessary, in Him who sacrificed for me.

President Bigelow shared the following poem:

If Thou Coulds't Empty All Thyself Of Self

(Sir Thomas Browne)

If thou could'st empty all thyself of self,

Like to a shell dishabited,

Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,

And say, "This is not dead,

"And fill thee with Himself instead."

But thou are all replete with very thou

And hast such shrewd activity,

That when He comes He says, "This is enow

Unto itself - 'twere better let it be,

It is so small and full, there is no room for me.

So, does emptying thyself of self mean becoming humble? I want to empty myself of self and have my Savior say, She is not dead let me fill her with me instead! I don't want Him to look at my heart and say it is so small and full, there is no room for me.