Matthew 11:28 says
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
I know that God will give me rest, so why do I have such a hard time submitting myself to Him? That question is crashing around in my head all the time lately. I have been blessed with the gift of faith. I read those very words in my Patriarchal blessing. I continually strive to follow obediently with that unfeigned faith. And seriously, I've never had a hard time with it. But, I stand here now, facing this trial that was thrust upon me ... money is dwindling and fear keeps creeping into the corners of my mind. I am constantly feeling "less than" and staying on top of a positive attitude has been quite a challenge at best. I don't know what to do? I pray constantly for inspiration and direction but instead I get a person with a position of deep trust in my life, basically telling me that I am indeed less. And then I am afraid of what is to become of me. things are not working out! In my head I know of a surety that God is the one in charge. But I have misinterpreted answers to prayers enough lately to know that I don't get it. What was easy before seems incredibly hard right now. And as I study the scriptures I find that fear is faith in reverse. Fear is a negative belief in something. Belief is the very foundation of faith. I need the Lord to help me in my unbelief. I know that faith is just a whisper that moves slowly like a breeze through my soul. I have felt its strength in my life and all I can do now is pray for my Father to help me trust so that I can walk in faith without fear.
2 comments:
Jana, I know that our trials can make it seem dark and all too much...but hold on...D&C 98:1-3 has given me peace when I'm in the thick of it all and feel alone. Here's sending HUGS your way! :)
This is hard I know, but I also know that YOU can do hard things. You've shown me that so many times before.
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